The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
