Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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