im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
