What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
