ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
