p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
