Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize