I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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