oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize