ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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