Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
