Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize