take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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