did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize