dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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