took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
