Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
