BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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