Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
