you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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