His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
