i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Randomize
