Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
