: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We were destined to go to rehab together
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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