The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
