It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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