Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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