And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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