i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
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He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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