Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
