hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
