I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
