i just google imaged poop.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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