O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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