It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
