I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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