I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
