If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
