Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night