Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.