youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
