Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Drunk is not a location!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
