I cut my penus on the lid.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The uberlube is also flammable
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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