You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
