Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
