When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
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triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize