6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
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You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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