im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We are all done wearing pants today
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
