Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize