Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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