How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
