rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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