u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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