NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
