Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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