you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
