am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
