Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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