if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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